Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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