i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
