Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
