Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
