He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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