My brain says no but my pants say off.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
