Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
