The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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