Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
