Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
God, I missed his penis.
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