We should be called the Road Head Warriors
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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