I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
