Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize