Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
