Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
