i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
