If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
