just come out here and I will go home with you...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
