she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
