Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
