Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
