Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize