I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize