Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
