I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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