Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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