Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
