Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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