Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
