hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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