We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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