I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just had sex on a roof
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
