that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
