is your mom at the bar?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
