So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
