Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
