I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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