I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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