I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
