I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
