whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
