R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
