I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
