It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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