Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
