I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
