So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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