i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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