I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize