farters have to be the big spoon...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize