He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
