it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
