I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
