Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
