I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't deserve a penis
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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