How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize