i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize