1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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