so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
